Working Out with Kettlebells

Still has the tag on it.

Still has the tag on it.

Let’s work out! Yeah, let’s get a root canal! Seriously, I’d rather have the root canal. At least my dentist gasses me and I’m in a peaceful, restful state for at least an hour, maybe longer. It’s utter bliss.

So far my dieting experience has not been successful, probably due to my dieting with Cinnabons. And now I have to work out? I’m definitely not darkening the door of any of those gyms. I’ve been in those before. You know what’s in there. Beefcake men who wouldn’t take a second glance in my direction because of the little cutie-pie, obviously barren young girls who strut around in skin tight apparel that’s neither enough nor proper attire where there are men who are also in skin tight apparel – obviously.

So, I was perusing my latest Oprah Magazine when my full ADD attention zeroed in on an article about working out. Usually, I skip right on past those “inspirational” tidbits, especially present in this magazine that touts “follow your inner dreams” (what about paying your bills?), “find your true self” (I already know who I am, and believe it or not, I’m ok with who I turned out to be), and Dr. Oz’s answers for all your life’s dilemmas from surgeries to skin care, but especially what you should be eating. Just take a look at him. Not trying to be mean or anything, but how does he look like that at his age (52)? Well, if we all had his money, we could look like that too. Just sayin’…

I digress…

So I’m flipping through my O Mag, and right there on page 32 is my inspiration. Andrea U-Shi Change. She doesn’t look tall in the photo, so at first I identified with her as a short, fat girl. But she is really 5’8”, and in my book, that’s not short. She weighed in at 195, so even though she was quite a bit larger than I, her “before “ photos kind of looked like me; I truly do not suffer from Body dysmorphic disorder and those of you who personally know me will attest that I’m not really fat-fat, just under tall for my weight. And as Manny on Ice Age prefers to be described, I’m “poufy.” Andrea’s “after” photos are what I want to look like! She dropped 45 pounds and became a kettlebelling beast! I was so impressed and inspired by her story that I rushed out and bought some kettlebells. Supposedly, kettlebells offer results in much less time and with less effort than other forms of exercise.

Just what the heck are kettlebells? They are heavy cast-iron weights for athletic training. Stop right there. I’m not really the “athletic” type, so this will be a new frontier. Seeing that Andrea reduced her body fat from 34 to 17 percent, I was impressed. She says, “Kettlebells saved my life.” I want them to save mine too. If they could save me by mere presence, I’m saved. If they could save me by my staring them down several times a days, I’m saved. But there they sit on my bedroom floor staring me down. I want my body to look like Andrea’s. I know that isn’t going to happen. We have different bodies, and I’m ok with that. I just want her determination, perseverance, and reduced body fat. I know. I know. I have to actually USE the kettlebells. I have – twice. I didn’t see much of a difference. I’m one of those people who must see immediate results. Like, I put the kettlebells in my cart at Wal-mart, pushed them to the check-out, paid for them, and hoisted them into the truck. Now, I have to actually interact with them? That’s going to be the hard part. Now that I’m dieting and hopeful to lose about 20 pounds, I might have the newfound inspiration to pick the little bell-things up and use them. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, check this link for more info about Andrea and click on the YouTube to see her workout. I just watched it and I’m too tired from watching her to actually workout. I will think about it tomorrow.


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